It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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