Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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