brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
