where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
