i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
