Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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