A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
