It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize