I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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