My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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