Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
