So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
