if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
