I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
