My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize