uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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