im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
