i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
