Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
