just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
