i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
