Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
