I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
