when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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