its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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