we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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