My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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