bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The feeling are messing with the penis
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
