butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
