Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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