i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
