Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize