You just made me feel so damn special
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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