There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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