he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
