You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
