If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
