She is in my trunk
My pussy is not your playground.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
not ubering you a puppy
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
