I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
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