I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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