Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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