I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
