If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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