I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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