I wish I could punch you in the face.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
