Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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