I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
