I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
