Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
