why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
