If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
