he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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