Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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