I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it glows. i had to have it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
