We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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