My brain says no but my pants say off.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
