the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
