2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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