There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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