Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
