he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
