things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
