I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
