He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
