I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
