Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize