playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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